Effective Panhandlers

Homelessness appears to be more of a problem here in New York than in other cities where I have lived. Many are homeless because of their poor choices; others are homeless because of horrible situations that are out of their control. While there is nothing funny about homelessness, I have found that some of the signs that panhandlers hold are hilarious.

Last week, I was walking out of the library and there was an older homeless gentleman with a sign that said, “NYU Tuition Fund.” That made me chuckle all the way home.

Wife and I were walking down Broadway, when we saw a fellow with a sign that read, “I am a veteran, and I have cancer, and I lost both legs in the war, AND my dog died.” I began to sympathize for this guy’s situation until I looked at him and realized the sign was a joke (earlier in the day we had seen each of those statements on different panhandlers’ signs).

This afternoon, wife and I saw a sign with “Sith lord killed my family. Need money for a new light saber.” Possibly, the fellow holding the sign was mentally deranged, but I’m guessing he just wanted a creative sign to grab attention – and, based upon the pile of cash, it appeared to be working.

Boxing Day Exploration

Today, Wife and I spent an afternoon exploring Manhattan. Here are some of the places we explored:

• Trump Towers (that’s a lot of gold to put in one place)
• Time Warner Center (I still can’t get over putting a grocery store in the basement, a mall on the 2^nd and 3^rd floors, and a Border’s Books in the building with some of the highest level executives in the world).
• Central Park (this is an amazing place where it feels like a wilderness experience, but looking up you still see the New York City skyline).
• St. Patrick’s Cathedral
• Chelsea Market (we resisted the temptation to eat, but we did enjoy the sights and smells of all the bakeries and little shops)
• Major League Baseball Headquarters
• Food Network Headquarters

Those who know me know if my unhealthy addiction to the Food Network. It was pretty awesome to be in the same building where many of the shows are taped, most impressively, we were right there at Kitchen Stadium, where Iron Chef competition takes place.

Keeping Busy at Christmas

Wife and I have kept surprisingly busy in the last few days. There is so much we have to blog about, but we haven’t found the time. Here is a list of our recent experiences, that we which will all, hopefully, receive their own post in the near future:

• Spent an evening walking around Times Square , taking in all of the holiday scenery with a cup of hot coffee.
• Enjoyed Macy’s beautiful window displays and all nine stories of Macy’s Christmas commercialism (I never realized Macy's was so enormous).
  
• Gawked at the Christmas window displays at Bloomingdale’s.
• Walked around Central Park, enjoying the holiday season and watching ice skaters.
• Explored world-famous Chelsea Market.
• Went to Brooklyn for the live finale of Clash of the Choirs (long story here, which will take a full post).
• Attended our first Broadway production, “The Farnsworth Invention” (post already written on this).
• Ate White Castle (neither of us had ever done that).
• Trekked to Brooklyn to shop at Costco (I need to write about the two-story Costco).
• Spent the evening at Rockefeller Plaza, where we saw the famous tree, watched ice skaters, coin pond, and visited the quaint little shops along with millions of others.
• Played with hundreds of unique and useless toys at the huge Sharper Image.
• Ate a huge lunch deep in China town (we ventured about three blocks past where all the other English-speakers dare to venture; I have no idea what we actually ate, but the main dish appeared to some sort of poultry - the huge meal totaled just $2.50).
• Worshiped at a Christmas Eve service at local Baptist church, where Laura did her best to save a soloist who forgot the lines to the 27^th verse of O Holy Night (the soloist was absolutely wonderful, but forgot the lines of a verse I had never heard before - I have no idea how wife knew it).
• Walked to Washington Square Park where we enjoyed Christmas evening under the huge Christmas tree beneath the famous arch.
• Learned that Postmaster’s in NYC can suddenly announce that the post office is closing on Christmas Eve so that the employees can spend time with their families.
• Discovered that there is not a single pizzeria open on Christmas Eve in Greenwich Village (the death of our tradition).
• Experienced a special Christmas worship service in the New Yorker Hotel, put on by the church we have been attending.
• Did our best “Friends” imitation, spending Christmas morning in a coffee shop chatting and watching New Yorkers bustle around.

Wife is still under the weather. If anyone has recommendations for a cold that just will not go away, feel free to pass along any advice.

Taxes and the Birth of Christ

Luke connects Christmas and taxes:

And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David), to be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

Luke 2:1-7, KJV

'Twas the Night Before Christmas, Legal Version

Author Unknown

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter "the House") a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse.

A variety of foot apparel, e.g. stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a/ St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus hereinafter "Claus") would arrive at sometime thereafter.

The minor residents, i.e. the children, of the aforementioned House, were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, i.e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionery treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams.

Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as "I"), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the parts of the second part (hereinafter "Mamma"), and said Mamma had retired for a sustained period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of headgear, e.g. kerchief and cap.)

Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the unimproved real property adjacent and appurtent to said House, i.e. the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance. The party of the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the cause of such disturbance.

At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter the "Vehicle") being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was, the previously referenced Claus.

Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donder and Blitzen (hereinafter the "Deer"). (Upon information and belief, it is further asserted that an additional co-conspirator named Rudolph may have been involved.)

The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown origin or nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House, and Claus entered said House via the chimney.

Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing a portion of the aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items. He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances and health regulations.

Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stocking of the minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts.(Said items did not, however, constitute "gifts" to said minor pursuant to the applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.) Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as "lookouts." Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination.

However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!" or words to that effect.

A Night Out on Broadway

Last Night, Wife and I attended our first Broadway show together. Wife chose “The Farnsworth Invention,” believing the subject and genre would be one I would choose: a thoughtful courtroom drama. As it turns out, courtroom scenes were minimal – which is probably best because I didn’t need to scream, “They can’t do that!” or “That’s not a valid objection!” or “You would never ask that during cross-examination!”

The Farnsworth Invention turned out to be an excellent show, telling the historical tale of Philo Farnsworth, a young bumpkin from Idaho who invented the television while NBC/RCA executive, David Sarnoff, who will stop at nothing to ensure he owns the patent.

The actors were very good, led by Jimmi Simpson (of Zodiac fame) and Hank Azaria (who has done a great number of projects, but is probably most famous for his voice-overs in The Simpsons). Personally, I found it difficult not to picture Moe whenever Azaria spoke.

I should probably add that while the show was great – Wife and I had a wonderful time – the historical accuracy leaves a little to be desired. Last night, I read up on the history and, starting with the beginning of the story, began to find little inaccuracies. As I continued to read, the errors began to grow. The culmination was reading that the court decision was, in reality, the exact opposite of what occurred in the play. Despite the fast and lose approach to the historical facts, it was still a great show.

The line of the movie I found most interesting: “Of course the ends justify the means. That’s what means are for.”

If you would like a glimpse of what we experienced, here is the trailer:

The Farnsworth Invention

One Down....

Today marks the completion of a semester at law school. It was hard, but it is done.

In celebration, we will be attending tonight’s live broadcast of NBC’s “Clash of the Choirs.” Tune in to try to catch a glimpse of us on national television. We should be easy to spot. Wife will be the one bouncing in the aisles trying to show the choir members how it’s done. Husband will be the one with his arms folded looking like he is waiting for a root canal. That’s just how we roll.

Hanukkah Hams?

Our neighborhood market is advertising "Hanukkah hams."

HERE is the story.

Does Free Speech Exist at a Private University? (Short Answer: No)

You may (or may not) have heard the news about the former student of Regent University’s law school for expelling him. If you are unaware, Regent the Christian university where Pat Robertson is president (yes, “that” Pat Robertson). Personally, I am NOT a fan of Pat Robertson, nor regent university; I respect his right to believe and speak what Robertson does – but I don’t care for him. I am a Christian who tries to distance himself from those types of characters.

Back to the story, the student, Adam Key, posted a picture on Facebook and also on Regent’s listserv which appeared to show Pat Robertson boldly giving the finger to the camera while broadcasting on the 700 show. Robertson was actually scratching the side of his face in a way that looked rather natural at the time, but the image looks as if Robertson is making an obscene gesture. Regent Law School did not see the humor of Key’s posting the image. Regent ordered him to take the photo down and either apologize or write a legal memo on his right to post the photo. Key took down the photo, refused to apologize, and wrote the legal memo. To make a long story short, Key was suspended, ordered to undergo a psychological evaluation, and then eventually dismissed from the school. As any reasonable law student would do, he is now suing the Virginia university.

I recently read an interesting legal analysis of the lawsuit by Professor Howard Wasserman that I thought would be worth sharing since it appears some educational legal analysis on the kind of issue I frequently get questions about (the link to his blog where this originally appeared is below):

"Last week, Key filed a lawsuit in the Southern District of Texas against Regent and Robertson, alleging violations of his First and Fourteenth Amendment rights, a violation of a provision of the Higher Education Act, and various state tort claims, including defamation (Key alleges that Robertson told the media that Key had "manipulated" the video image of Robertson), breach of contract, and fraudulent inducement (he alleges that he was fraudulently lead to believe that Regent was an open intellectual environment that allowed for dissent in public debate, that it was not at the mercy of Pat Robertson, and that it would not punish a student for engaging in political expression).

"This all makes a fun story. as it always seems to when Robertson enters the public debate. The Complaint even quotes several of Robertson's more infamous remarks. And Key is a unique enough figure that he would make a fine addition to the rogue's gallery that forms the pantheon of First Amendment heroes. Unfortunately for Key, this lawsuit has no chance.

"First, I am not sure the Southern District of Texas is the proper venue for this case. Key lives in Texas and his venue argument appears to be that Regent sent recruiting letters to him in Texas that convinced him to apply and attend the school and that his dissenting views would be welcomed and tolerated. I suppose this might work for the fraudulent inducement claim, because the letters sent to Texas are the inducements. But venue looks to where "a substantial part of the events or omissions giving rise to the claim occurred." And for all his other claims, the key events or omissions occurred in Virginia. At the very least, venue seems more appropriate in Virginia and this could be a candidate for a discretionary transfer.

"Second, the constitutional claims fail because there is no allegation (or event mention) anywhere in the complaint about state action. In fact, in ¶ 10, Key expressly describes Regent as a "private college." Clearly neither Regent nor Robertson is a state actor (Regent is a religious entity, so it being a state actor would be troubling), so it is not subject to constitutional restrictions.

"Third, Key attempts a claim under the Higher Education Act fails because the provision under which he sues cannot be enforced through a private right of action. Section 1011a reflects an effort by Congress to get private universities to conduct themselves in accordance with the First Amendment (and as public universities must) in punishing students for protected on-campus expression and assembly. But I doubt this section is enforceable by private lawsuit. The provision explicitly describes itself as reflecting "the sense of Congress" that students at private universities should not be sanctioned for protected speech; that is not the type of rights-creating language the Court looks for in deciding whether to find an implied right of action. A Westlaw search in the ALLFEDS database found no cases even mentioning § 1011a. That should be a pretty good hint that this provision does not provide a basis for a private civil action.

"Interestingly, Key's best argument may be that Regent is acting in violation of its ABA-imposed obligations to comport its rules to ordinary First Amendment standards, in terms of punishing students. So he might be better served by making arguments to the ABA the next time Regent is up for re-accredidation. But he is not likely to get very far with this lawsuit."

You can find the original post HERE.

NOTE: If you care to comment on this post, please try to keep the beliefs and politics of Pat Robertson and Regent University out of it. I know that there are divergent opinions about Robertson with the regular readers.

It's Snowing

We are having our first snow of the season right now. Wife is very, very excited.

Back at Home

We are back in our apartment, and everything - from our perspective - is back to normal. Last night a temporary external generator was completed which will power our building for a few weeks until the power plant running again. Fortunately, Husband's relatives here in New York graciously offered us a place to stay until the situation was resolved. Though we ended up not needing to accept the offer, it was wonderful to know that we would not be two of the hundreds of people sleeping on a gym floor.

We are Homeless

If you have seen the news today, you may have heard that there was an explosion in NYC this morning (many of the news accounts have been inaccurately saying it occurred in the afternoon). First thing this morning, there was an underground explosion which blew off a manhole cover and shot flames out of the manhole. This the manhole cover was directly in front of our building and, apparently, the resulting fire was underneath our building (where there is an underground power plant). This morning when we had no utilities everyone seemed to be on edge, but the word seemed to be that they would get the utilities back on and everything would be fine. Apparently, it is worse than initially thought. Our building has been evacuated and we are homeless. There is a chance that we could be permitted back in the building late tonight, but we have been given information about local facilities with cots for us to stay at until this is resolved.

Add this turn of events to what has otherwise been a pretty lousy week. This week, Wife’s family experienced a tragedy that has had us down, especially Wife (we will certainly not be blogging about it).

So, keep us in your thoughts and prayers. This post probably has too much personal information, so I will undoubtedly remove it from the web soon – I just thought our friends and family would like an update on these homeless New Yorkers.

UPDATE:

Click here for a link to ABC's story on the fire, though they seem to have the facts all skewed (a news organization not having all the facts right - who would have thought?). I have a couple of corrections for the story:

1) It is not a dorm. It is an apartment building owned by the university. There is a great difference between a dorm room and an apartment building (primarily the cost).

2) There was an actual explosion (I heard it), and people I spoke to saw the massive flames (not just a little smoke).

Everybody Loves a Parade

Last night, Wife and I took a short trek up to the Central Park West area to see the big balloons all ready to be walked down Broadway. The balloons were…big. I was absolutely shocked to see the masses of people crowding the streets to catch a glimpse of the tied down balloons. I have not heard an official count on the number of people who were there, but it was definitely in the hundreds of thousands (if not a million or more).

Probably the most entertaining part of the evening was watching Wife digress into a four-year-old. As we approached the Scooby-Doo balloon, wife yelled out, “Scooooby-Scoooooby-Dooooooo!!!” Immediately, hundreds of children around us began picking up the chant (I have no doubt that their parents were eternally grateful). A little later we walked by Ronald McDonald, where there was also a huge balloon of an ice cream cone. Wife gleefully screamed out, “Ice cream!!!!” – again, Wife was a trend setter for the children around us (the parents loved us).

Earlier in the week, I spoke to a friend at Law School who mentioned that he and his wife would be coming out to see the balloons. I casually remarked, “Maybe we’ll see you there.” He just stared at me. Now I understand why. I expected a lot of people, but I didn’t expect the huge masses that we experienced.

The Macy’s parade today has over 3,500,000 people lined up on the street to watch the balloons float by. To put that in perspective, that is approximately the number of people who live in the state of Oregon. There were probably more people bundled up on Broadway than live in Oklahoma. As a matter of fact, more people lined up on the street before it was light out to watch this parade than live in about twenty-two different states. That’s a lot of people.

Frrrozen Hot Mouse Droppings?

Husband and I have a yearly tradition when it comes to my birthday. We always go for ice cream. Neither of us are fans of cake, so when it comes time for me to blow out the candles, I would much rather lick the side of an ice cream cone or have a blizzard held upside down over my head. (I am a big ice cream fan. Next to bread and cheese, ice cream is my weakness.) I know my birthday is still more than two months away, but as soon as Husband and I decided to move to NYC I knew that I had to go back to Serendipity 3 for one of their famous “Frrrozen Hot Chocolates” and my birthday just seems like the perfect time/reason to go!

If you have never heard of Serendipity and their amazing Frozen Hot Chocolate, you are definitely missing out. If you that have seen the movie “One Fine Day,” then you have seen this famous institution. There is a scene in the movie where Michelle Pfeiffer is having Frozen Hot Chocolate with the two kids (right before the little girl disappears).

Serendipity has been a landmark in the heart of the Upper West side of Manhattan since 1954, where they serve Frrrozen Hot Chocolate, one of the most famous desserts here in New York. Not only is Serendipity a restaurant, but it also has a general store, soda fountain and coffeehouse. The Frrrozen Hot Chocolate is a secret-recipe of icy-chocolate confection served in an enormous fishbowl-shaped goblet, garnished with a mound of fresh whipped cream topped with shaved chocolate, accompanied by a mixing spoon and two straws. This frosty, velvety-smooth creation is made from no fewer than 14 kinds of chocolate and exotic cocoas, ground into a rich slush. Yes, it is absolutely phenomenal!

Unfortunately I read some dreadful news the other day that is making me question my decision of wanting to go to Serendipity. Wednesday night, the city Health Department temporarily shut down Serendipity. It appears that the restaurant has failed two health inspections in the past month. According to Business Week, on Wednesday, the Health Department said an inspector spotted a live mouse in the building, as well as mouse droppings, fruit flies, houseflies and more than 100 live cockroaches. YUCK!!!!!!!

A spokesperson, Joe Calderone, from Serendipity released the following written statement: "It is unfortunate that published reports have exaggerated the situation and may be leading to certain misperceptions. That being said, we are taking this matter VERY seriously. Certain conditions have been pointed out which require correcting and we are working quickly to be in 100 percent compliance with the Health Department's suggestions. We will reopen as soon as possible."

Of course I am completely grossed out by the thought of roaches and mice. A coworker was trying to tell me that this really is not that uncommon and that the place will be so much safer after having to go through this ordeal. While I understand his logic, I am still not sure if I can get over mouse droppings, flies and roaches. I can just see myself staring down at my Frrrozen Hot Chocolate and wondering if that was really chocolate shavings I was looking at.

Funny Footnote

(For those who just skip my law-related posts, just jump down to the last paragraph.)

The Sixth Circuit court of Appeals issued a decision today addressing the following issue: does an employee’s act of continuing to report for work after the effective date of her employer’s arbitration program constituted acceptance of a valid and enforceable contract to arbitrate disputes? The court held that yes, an employee’s knowing continuation of employment after the effective date of the program was acceptance of a valid and enforceable contract to arbitrate.

Judge Boyce Martin dissented. Martin writes in his dissent: “A unilateral contract is one where an offeror ‘reasonably expects to induce action of a definite and substantial character’ from the offeree,’… Implicit in this understanding is that the offeree is aware of the significance of the act performed. Without a signal that she understands that a contract is being made, how is one to know if she has truly accepted?”

Judge Martin inserted the following footnote in his dissent:

Homer Simpson talking to God: “Here’s the deal: you freeze everything as it is, and I won’t ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. [no response] OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, please give me no sign. [no response] Thy will be done.” The Simpsons: And Maggie Makes Three (Fox television broadcast, Jan. 22, 1995).

Puzzle of the Day

I realize that few people like to actually post comments, but maybe a puzzle will break the ice around here. Anyone who can figure out what goes in the blank will win the respect and admiration of Husband and Wife (a wonderful prize).

Fill in the blank in the following list:

1. Vermont, Connecticut, New Hampshire

2. Pennsylvania, Delaware, New Jersey

3. Indiana, Ohio, Kentucky

4. Arkansas, Mississippi, Tennessee

5. Iowa, Missouri, Nebraska

6. California, Colorado, Arizona

7. Washington, ______________, Oregon

We are a Post-Graduate Level Blog

A new tool has come which analyzes blogs and determines the educational level a blog is written at. Our blog comes in at the college/post-graduate level:

One Bar Down

The Bar exam is behind me. Thank you to everyone who sent cards, emails, calls, etc. or a congratulatory message. Having the Bar behind me is quite a relief. The Bar is something that it seems like a law school graduate should pass – after three grueling years of law school plus all of the hundreds of agonizing hours preparing for the test, it would be nice to walk into the exam feeling confident. However, there are always people who fail. Some people fail because they didn’t study hard enough. Some people fail the bar because they just aren’t smart enough. Others fail the test because of bad luck. I really was afraid I could be in that last category, along with many extremely intelligent people who studied as hard as they could but still ended up with a failing score. The Bar exam covers an absolutely enormous body of knowledge (especially in the state where I took it). There is not a person in the world that could comprehend and memorize every potential issue, law, and exception that the Board of Law Examiners could put on the exam. I am very relieved that the arcane laws and exceptions to the laws that were on the exam were the same ones I had time to commit to memory.

Bar Results Are In!

I have to take a moment here and brag about my wonderful husband. We received some wonderful news…HE PASSED THE BAR EXAM!!! Back in July, along with the rest of the aspiring attorneys in the country, Husband sat for the dreaded Bar exam. The hours spent studying for this enormous exam paid off. According to the piece of paper we received in the mail, Husband is an official attorney!

Unfortunately Husband wasn’t the first to find out the terrific news. The list of who passed just so happened to be released as Husband was flying across the country. It was a rather nerve racking day. Husband heard from a good source (thanks DW!) that the results were going to be posted a day early. For reasons I am sure Husband will expound upon later, he had to fly across the country for a job interview (that is a really great story and another reason I am proud of Husband, but I will let him tell you about it at another time). Since Husband could not keep checking the Board of Law Examiners website I spent the day hitting refresh and anxiously waiting for the results. Apparently everyone else who sat for the bar was doing the same thing as the website counter kept jumping 40 hits with each refresh. At approximately 4:45 pm the list was posted and after a quick glance I saw Husband’s name. I think I actually squealed out loud (I am sure my coworkers think I am crazy). I couldn’t wait for Husband’s plane to land so I could tell him the good news.

As soon as the wheels came to a slow crawl, Husband and I were on the phone with one another rejoicing in the good news. I didn’t know it was possible to be even prouder of Husband. He is constantly amazing me with all that he does.

I also want to say CONGRATULATIONS to all of our friends who also passed. Congrats DW and W!!!

Presidential Candidate Quiz

This is from today’s Wall Street Journal. I thought it was interesting:

Match the presidential candidate with a description of his or her legal career (some descriptions courtesy of the NYT):

(A) Hillary Clinton
(B) John Edwards
(C) Rudy Giuliani
(D) Barack Obama
(E) Fred Thompson
(F) Mitt Romney

(1) An intense former prosecutor
(2) A folksy former prosecutor
(3) A civil litigator from a tony regional firm
(4) A superstar trial lawyer
(5) A Harvard Law Review president who turned down BigLaw for civil-rights litigation
(6) Harvard JD/MBA who never practiced a day in his life but said he’d consult lawyers as president

(Answers: A3, B4, C1, D5, E2, F6.)

Meeting with the IRS

Recently, I received an email inviting me to attend a presentation by the IRS at Law School. When I received the invitation, I was rather busy, so I didn’t think much about it but I marked October 25^th on my calendar. This afternoon, I entered a boardroom at Law School where I was welcomed by a friendly gentleman holding out his hand and greeting me, “Hi, I’m Don Korb.” The name rang a bell, but I couldn’t place from where. The two of us made small talk for a few minutes, mostly about the rainy weather we are having today here in New York. After a few minutes, the ten of us sat around the board table and Mr. Korb began his presentation. That’s when the lights went off in my mind—this was Donald Korb, the Senior Counsel for the Internal Revenue Service (i.e., the big boss).

President Bush nominated Donald Korb to the office of chief counsel in 2003, and he was confirmed by the Senate. He is the chief law officer for the IRS and an assistant general counsel for the Treasury. The chief counsel supervises more than 1,550 attorneys who are assigned among the IRS National Office and the major operational divisions of the agency. The chief counsel’s office plays a central role in the Administration of the federal tax laws. Its attorneys provide guidance on the correct legal interpretation of the tax laws, represent the IRS in litigation, and provide all other legal support the IRS needs to carry out its mission of serving American taxpayers.

As he sat with the ten of us around the table he explained that he would like us to consider joining their tax policy department were we could actually write the law, by writing published Revenue Rulings explaining and interpreting the tax code. I suppose this just proves my status as a tax nerd, but I am still in awe that I sat next to the chief counsel of the IRS while he explained why I should consider working on his staff.

I See Dead People (okay it is more like person)

I enjoy my new job and it is going quite well. The only disadvantage of my current situation is that I have more work than I can get done everyday. Most days I don’t take a lunch break but I always try to get out of the office for a few minutes to stretch my legs and clear my head. Last Thursday was a typical day in New York City (well, if you can call NYC normal), when I left the office, covered my ears with headphones, and proceeded up 9^th Avenue for a quick afternoon stroll around the block.

I tend to get lost in my thoughts when I am walking and frequently pay little attention to what is going on around me (this is the same person that walked right smack into the middle of a protest at her University and was smacked in the head with a picket sign in order to realize her surroundings). Anyway, I was walking up 9^th Avenue on a busy Thursday afternoon, when I realized that there were several police, an ambulance, a fire truck, and a throng of people (many more than normal) right in front of me. Thankfully, I became aware that something was wrong before the police tackled me for proceeding through the yellow caution tape which barricaded the crime scene. To my horror I saw a very disturbing sight. A homeless woman was lying on the side of the sidewalk dead. How am I sure that she was deceased? Well a few minutes later I walked by that site again and saw the lady being put into an ambulance with the sheets over her head, just like on television. I never heard anything on the news or read anything in the papers regarding this death. It is only October and so far NYC has been experiencing very good weather and warm temperatures. I can’t help but wonder what will happen to all of these people that call the sidewalks, benches and stairs home once the cold winter hits?

I Like Dell

My notebook computer had to go back to Dell for repair this past week, and I am absolutely thrilled with the service. My trusty notebook has been with me for two years and eleven months. During that time, it has gone everywhere and done everything with me. There have not been more than a couple of days in that thirty-five month period when my computer has not gotten significant use. My notebook generally gets turned on first thing in the morning to check email and headlines and a few minutes later it is thrown in a bag and taken to law school, where it proceeds to be opened, closed, and carried all throughout the rest of the day. During law school, when I wasn’t cramped into a cubicle, it was common for me to be typing briefs at Jack-in-the-Box or Burger King for hours. Even after coming home, the computer generally stays on until bedtime. When I’m not typing briefs, or doing research on WestLaw, Lexis, or RIA, I’ll often spend my free time surfing the web. I have converted my music library to MP3, so even for entertainment purposes, my computer is pretty much the center of my life. Needless to say, the computer gets a lot of use. I would like to say that I treat it well, but it is a work-tool that has its share of wear and tear. My constant typing has worn the face off most of the keys. The touchpad shows considerable wear on the center (instead of the grainy feel it is supposed to have, it now has a smooth, slippery feel). The paint is coming off the palm rests. Sadly, over the years some cracks have shown up in the base of the unit.

About two weeks ago, I began to notice the hinge holding the monitor open was loose, allowing the monitor to swing more than it should. A few days later, I realized that the metal hinge inside base was actually cracked. Dell included a three year warranty for manufacturing defects with my notebook. In all honesty, I am not really sure if a cracked hinge is a manufacturing defect. I could make a case for how it could be, but these things happen after almost three years—notebook computers that get a lot of use wear out. Well, with thirty-five days left on my warranty, I called Dell to see if they would help. Without putting up any kind of an argument, technical support rep offered to arrange a pick-up so they could fix the notebook. He explained that the hinges come in a set of two, so they probably would replace both of them.

My notebook was picked up by DHL at 8:00 last Friday night. DHL’s tracking website shows that it was delivered to Dell’s Tennessee service station on Monday morning at 7:35. At 8:45 this morning (Tuesday), my notebook was returned to me in Manhattan. Not only did Dell replace the hinges, but they also:

- Replaced the back cover with a completely new cover

- Replaced the base of the notebook with an all new body

- Installed a new keyboard

- Installed a new touchpad

- Replaced the palm rests

- Installed the latest version of the firmware (BIOS)

Essentially, the brains inside the notebook remain the same and the screen is the same (although the “frame” it is in is new), but the entire exterior is brand spanking new, clean, and scratch free. Actually, that’s not quite true: on the bottom of the notebook, the metal doors for the motherboard and RAM are the same—and the paint is coming off pretty badly.

It is not often that “big business” goes above and beyond what is either asked or expected of them, but this is one case where the customer is very satisfied. Of course, if Dell shocks me and sends a bill for this work, I will be replacing this post with an angry diatribe. Until that time, I just wanted my hundreds and hundreds of readers to know how happy I am with Dell at this moment (ok…tens and tens of readers…maybe ones and ones of readers).

Family Day at Law School

Introductory note: for those, who have never read our blog before, we are a couple in New York City, where I attend law school. In order to keep our anonymity, we don’t use our names, nor do I write the name of the law school. However, the pictures posted are real.

This past weekend, Wife got to experience a taste of law school. A few weeks back, Law School sent out announcements that there will be this special “family day.” I asked Wife if she would like to participate, and she responded with a shrug and responded, “Sure, could be fun.” Without thinking much about it, I signed us up for the festivities. Honestly, we then forgot about it until late last week when I had a sudden panic attack that we had missed it—and my fears were relieved when I checked the calendar.

On the morning of Family Day, Wife and I walked over to Law School for the festivities. When we arrived to the courtyard of Law School, perky greeters welcomed us with a cup of coffee and our nametags while we were entertained by “doo-wop” singers (basically, Wife describes the singers as Boys II Men if they were aged twenty years). Photographers were there to snap our family pictures (and they gave us a free print). As we entered into the law school, I realized that this would be a much bigger deal than either of us had anticipated.

Upon entering the Law School, the Dean greeted us and thanked us for coming with a friendly handshake. This man is one of the most powerful five or ten people in all of legal education, and he took an entire day to personally meet the family of all the students, faculty, and staff of the law school. This quite simply blew my mind. I tried to explain to Wife whom she had just met; it would have been much easier to explain if the Dean had been more arrogant and aloof instead of so friendly and approachable.

We were ushered into a large reception hall where a full breakfast spread was presented for us. For the first time since we have been out here in New York, I ate lox with my bagel. Wow…I’m really not sure if I have ever eaten anything better than that in my life (other than, of course, Wife’s cooking). Maybe my breakfast was so outstanding because the lox were on a real NY bagel; maybe the lox are better here in New York as well. Either way, Wife and I agreed that the breakfast was phenomenal.

After breakfast, we went to class. We had our choice amongst about five different classes, all taught by professors who are regarded as the best in the world in their field. We chose Constitutional law, where we participated in a lively discussion on the Supreme Court’s historic treatment of the 14^th Amendment. We left our class and went on a tour of the Law School and the surrounding area.

When we got back, Law School presented us with a lunch they were incredibly proud of. Law School treated us to, “A taste of New York.” Throughout the main building, various stations were set up to give us a sampling of the best food that New York has to offer. There was a sampling from Little Italy, China Town, Coney Island, and there was also a sushi bar (but I am not sure what part of New York that was supposed to come from). The food was decent, but nothing compared to the lox and bagels for breakfast.

Law School wanted us to experience an academic treat—something truly significant. Law School put together a short lecture series and panel discussion with four of the world’s leading scholars on election law to discuss imminent political issues upcoming in the 2008 That was an interesting two hours. Early next year, a synopsis of what we heard will be published by the Law School.

Our experience ended with “Tea with the Dean.” I was a little unsure what this would entail, but it was quite simple: more food, specifically coffee and desserts of every shape and form. After Wife and I each had a “black and white cookie,” we left to go back to go home, but first we were each given a bag filled with souvenirs.

Yet Another Tax Quote

"People think taxation is a terribly mundane subject. But what makes it fascinating is that taxation, in reality, is life. If you know the position a person takes on taxes, you can tell their whole philosophy. The tax code, once you get to know it, embodies all the essence of life: greed, politics, power, goodness, charity. Everything’s in there. That’s why it is so hard to get a simplified tax code. Life just isn’t simple."

Sheldon Cohen

Former IRS Commissioner

(If the cartoon is too small to read, click on it for a larger picture)

I'm Still Alive

I have been informed that it is about time that I write a post. I am an official Manhattan working citizen. I started my new job just over two weeks ago and I love it.

Where do I work? That is a question that I have been asked quite frequently. Let’s just say I work for an interactive advertising agency; it is the number one interactive advertising agency in the world and ranked in the top ten of all advertising agencies.

What is an interactive advertising agency? I wondered that myself when I began. Some services that we offer are digital branding, systematic design, multichannel marketing, online advertising, e-commerce, technology based advertising. If you don’t know what all those things are, it is probably best not to ask me as I am really only concerned with the accounting aspects.

The atmosphere of an advertising firm is different from what I am used to. Besides being more casual and laid back, the personalities are unique, and work is generally specific for this field. I honestly did not know what I was getting myself into when I accepted this position. In my interview, I was informed that the company is going through drastic growth and it is about time that they get their accounting department up to speed to match that growth. In the near future we will be adopting a whole new computer system and I really think it was my excitement over the thought of getting to help lead the company to the next level that won me the job. If you know me, you know that Husband’s love for technology has rubbed off onto me. Yes. I admit it. I am an accounting nerd that gets very excited about using a new software that I have never been blessed with the opportunity to use before. Not only will I eventually get to use, but I get to figure out how to adopt our company’s current processes and make them more efficient using the new system. This is all incredibly exciting for me. Unfortunately, it has yet to be determined when we will get to make this big switch, so in the meantime I get to learn the current processes (which are a little outdated) and determine how we can streamline those so that I don’t pull my hair out in frustration over wasting time with old technology. Thank goodness for my love of spreadsheets!

I have really enjoyed getting to know my new coworkers and we all seem to get along very well. That being said, going to work really makes me miss my old coworkers. While the atmosphere at my previous employment was at times unsettling, I made some amazing friends, whom I miss terribly. What would be great is if we could move all of them out here!

Work has really taken up most of my time. There is something about starting a new job. Even if the work is really not all that difficult, it is still mentally draining trying to learn everything and keep everything straight.

Quote of the Day

Judge Learned Hand (yes, his real name) wrote in the 1935 2^nd Circuit decision Helvering v. Gregory:

“Any one may so arrange his affairs that his taxes shall be as low as possible: he is not bound to choose that pattern which will best pay the Treasury: there is not even a patriotic duty to increase one’s taxes.”

Helvering v. Gregory, 69 F.2d 809, 810 (2d Cir. 1934), aff’d 293 U.S. 465, 55 S.Ct. 266, 79 L.Ed. 596 (1935).

de minimus

I have spent the last few hours studying the Joint Committee on Taxation’s “Estimate for Federal Tax Expenditures for Fiscal Years 2007-2011.” One thing I find disturbing: any tax expenditure that is $50,000,000 a year or less is considered “de minimus” and not even factored into the budget. Call me crazy, but it seems to me that fifty-million dollars here, fifty-million there—add it all up and pretty soon we will be talking about some real money.

Speaking of de minimus, last night Wife went to Bagel Bob's to pick up our week’s worth of bagels during their $.35 Monday night special. The baker, who is starting to recognize Wife, gave her a dozen bagels for the price of a half-dozen. So, our bagels came out to 17 ½ cents each, and there is no tax. That news just makes my bagel even tastier every morning (sorry, Linda).

Manna in New York City

I am proud to say that I have eaten the same thing for breakfast every single day that we have been in New York. Each and every day, I enjoy a piece of manna in New York, God’s gift to the world: a scrumptious bagel. People ask me if I am getting tired of bagels—absolutely not! I doubt I will ever become tired of these delicious pieces of manna. Because she loves me, wife goes out to Bob’s Bagels every week for their Monday night special when fresh bagels are just thirty-five cents and buys a week’s worth for me. Who ever knew that thirty-five cents could bring so much happiness?

New Yorkers love their bagels and they love the bakeries where they buy their bagels. Amongst New Yorkers, there are passionate debates regarding where to buy the best bagels. Most New Yorkers will agree that a fresh bagel should never be toasted, but while some love the large, doughy bagels, others prefer chewier, dense bagels. No matter what the preference, there is a bakery that will make the perfect bagel for you.

What is a bagel? The word bagel is thought to derive from the Yiddish word bugel, and from the German word bugel, which means a round loaf of bread. Bagels were brought to America by Jewish immigrants from Eastern Europe as a breakfast food.

A bagel is similar in size and shape to a donut, but made of only flour, water, yeast and malt. This dough is boiled in water and then baked. This boiling, or “kettling,” gelantinizes the gluten in the dough mass, sealing the surface, and retaining the full flavor a slow baking. It is this process that makes NY bagels so special—many bakeries today just steam the bagels instead of actually boiling them. The result is a dense, chewy, doughy interior with a shiny, browned and chewy exterior. Bagels are often topped with seeds baked onto the outer crust with the most traditional being poppy or sesame seeds. Some are mixed with cinnamon and raisins, while others have salt sprinkled on the bagel. My personal favorite is the “everything” bagel, on which they put, you guessed it, everything. Poppy seeds, sesame seeds, onion flakes, caraway seeds, garlic flakes, pretzel salt, and pepper, are all popular toppings that most bakers put on the everything bagel.

So, where should you get your bagel when you visit New York? Everyone seems to have their own preference, but here are some of the most popular bakeries.

H&H Bagels

H&H Bagels is among New York City's most popular bagels and are well loved by fans of the sweeter, fluffier, doughy bagels. H&H Bagels are available for delivery world-wide, so you might find them in your city. From what I can tell, these are the most expensive bagels in the city, ringing up at a whopping 95¢ each. Wife and I each enjoyed one of these wonderful treats on the day that we took our cruise. Wow…it was really that good.

According to their website, H&H Bagels was founded in 1972 by Helmer Toro and has grown to become one of the largest bagel manufacturers in the world. From its original location at Broadway and 80th Street in New York City, H&H has expanded to a plant on 46th Street at 12th Avenue where bagels are produced for shipment throughout the United States and around the world. H&H produces “millions and millions” of bagels each year.

H&H Bagels has been featured on numerous television shows and movies. Most recently H&H appeared on NBC's "Seinfeld" and on the feature film "You've got Mail" staring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. Other television shows that have featured H&H include NBC's "Friends", "Saturday Night Live", and "LA Law", CNN, Good Morning America, ABC's Wide World of Sports, USA Network's US Open, and many other television programs and movies.

Bob’s Bagel

This is where Wife buys me my bagels. The bagels are big and chewy, with a nice, slightly crunchy exterior. Locals in Greenwich Village insist that the best bagels in New York are made here. Typically, the bagels are 70¢ each, but on Monday evenings the price drops down to just 35¢. Simply heaven on earth.

Ess-a-Bagel

This is another exceptionally popular bakery for bagels. There are violent arguments amongst New Yorkers as to whether Murray’s or Ess-a-Bagel offers better boiled bread. While they offer another of the doughy bagels, Ess-a-Bagel said to offer slightly smaller bagels. Wife and I have not yet visited this establishment, but it is on our list of places to go soon. Bagels are 70¢ each.

Murray's Bagels

Smaller than H & H Bagels, but are still the doughy style, Murray's bagels are considered by many to be the best in the world. It appears to me that Murray’s is the third most popular bagel in the City. Bagels are only 75¢. Wife and I tried these bagels once. While our bagel was good, we really didn’t feel it lived up to the hype. Locals who come here particularly love the flavored cream cheeses (which are argued to be the best in New York as well). It is a treat just to listen to locals order their bagels (they take it quite seriously). A popular order is asking for the doughy middle of your bagel to be scooped out so that more fillings can fit inside. That seems like such a waste.

Bagelfeller's

Conveniently located for tourists in Midtown, near Rockefeller Center, this bakery sells the chewy, denser bagel style (which many New Yorkers love). Bagels are only 60¢ here. This is another place Wife and I have not yet graced.

Kossar’

This Lower East Side bakery is most famous for its bialys, but Kossar's also offers dense hand rolled, kettle boiled malt bagels for 65¢ (while their bialys are 50¢). Nope, we haven’t eaten here yet either.

Bagel Hole

Many New Yorkers argue the best bagel is in Brooklyn at the Bagel Hole in Park Slope. Bagel Hole features the dense, chewy bagel. Wife and I have not tried these 55¢ treats (of course, the only time we have eaten in Brooklyn thus far is when we visited Costco).

There are many other wonderful bakeries here in New York famous for their bagels. In a perfect world, we will have an opportunity to try the bagels at all of them.

The Verdict Is In

Today's big news here in Manhattan is that a jury found that Isiah Thomas, the coach of the New York Knicks, did commit sexual harassment against Anucha Browne Sanders, a former employee, and that Madison Square Garden should pay $11.6 million in damages for wrongfully terminating her in retaliation of her harassment allegations. I have no idea what genius at MSG decided not to settle this suit, but the last month has been an absolute public-relations nightmare for the Knicks. This verdict ensures that the result is a financial nightmare as well. The tab: Madison Square Garden owes $6 million for condoning a hostile work environment and $2.6 million for retaliation. Chairman James Dolan owes $3 million for his role. Even if the verdict gets reversed on appeal, the legal fees in this case will be astronomical.

Since I have a special interest in the trial attorneys who litigated this mess, I thought I would share a little about the first-chairs on either side (something you probably haven’t heard on the news).

The case is a big victory for Anne Vladeck of a name partner in the small firm Vladeck, Waldman, Elias & Engelhard here in New York. Vladeck who earned her undergraduate degree at the University of Pennsylvania and her law degree at Columbia law school, is an adjunct professor at Columbia. She focuses her practice on employment matters, including discrimination, sexual harassment, defamation, union-side labor law, and litigation.

On the losing team is Ronald Green, co-founder and name partner at Epstein Green & Becker. Green tops the wish-list for corporate executives needing representation when sued for sexual harassment. He also has a rather long list of letters after his name. He earned his bachelor degree at NYU, then earned his juris doctorate at Brooklyn Law, followed by an LL.M. at George Washington University in Labor Law. According to the bio from his firm, he has a Ph.D. pending at the University of Cincinnati (I wonder what that is in). Before co-founding his firm, Green served as a captain in the U.S. Army Judge Advocate General (JAG) Corps. He then gained labor regulatory expertise while working for the U.S. Department of Labor (working in the areas of contract compliance and civil rights).

The verdict now brings more questions to my mind than answers. For instance, how long will the appeals go on?

The defendants have made if very clear they will appeal, even arrogantly implying they will win—but on what grounds do they plan to appeal? Will an appeals court find any reversible error?

Will David Stern and the NBA just turn a blind eye to the reprehensible behavior that the jury concluded occurred? Players get fined for not wearing a suit and tie before and after games, but this is ok? Really? Dallas Mavrick’s owner Mark Cuban gets fined millions for making remarks the NBA deems to be out of line, but with a straight face they say this isn’t their problem?

The jury clearly believed the plaintiff over Isiah Thomas: shocking testimony came out in court of Thomas making horrible remarks about the fans who buy Knick’s tickets. According to plaintiff Anucha Browne Sanders, Thomas said he didn't gave a ... uh, "hoot" about white-season ticket holders. Will the fans really stand for this?

In the basketball world, there is the near unanimous opinion that Thomas has done an utterly horrible job with the Knicks. How long can this man stay employed? For several years, MSG chairman James Dolan has passionately defended Thomas and his blunders. Why? How long will this last?

Which World?

While studying tax policy, I began to contemplate a question about what people would prefer in life. If you wouldn’t mind, leave a comment telling what you think (and why). There is, obviously, not a "right" or "wrong" answer.

Imagine two worlds. You could choose to live in either one, and the two worlds are completely identical except for the salaries. Now, which would you rather live in:

World A: In this world, you have income of $50,000 a year and everyone else in the world gets $25,000 a year.

World B: In this world, you have income of $100,000 a year and everyone else in the world gets $250,000 a year.

Assume that the value of a dollar is exactly the same in both worlds.

So, which world would you rather live in?