As many of you know, we have been expecting our third
child. A son. Wife is almost 20 weeks pregnant, and the
girls can’t be more excited. For the
last three months, it feels as if everything in our lives has revolved around
Baby Brother. The girls don’t stop
talking to Baby Brother in Wife’s tummy. Every night Elizabeth has to give him
a kiss goodnight. Every morning, she gives
him a kiss good morning. Every day the
debate on what his name should be continues.
On Thursday morning, I was at work, dealing with a typical
smattering of client emergencies. It was
a typical day at work, as a rotated between conference calls and responding to
emails. The girls were at school. Wife was texting me from the waiting room of
her OBGYN as she waited to go back for her monthly appointment to check on our
almost 20 week old son. Though Wife has
had very serious morning sickness during this pregnancy, just as she had with
both Katie and Elizabeth, everything seemed to be going great with this
pregnancy. After every test and every
appointment, we were always told the same thing, everything looks perfect.
As sat at my desk, typing an email, my phone rang. It was Wife.
I knew why she was calling. She always
called after every appointment to tell me everything the doctor said, and to
assure me that everything continues to look perfect.
I answered my phone, expecting to hear my chipper Wife,
excited to tell me the latest good news.
But this call was different. She
was crying. “The doctors can’t find a
heartbeat,” she said. “I’m on my way to
the hospital.” Within seconds, I was
running out of my office to meet Wife at the hospital.
After filling out a mountain of paperwork at the hospital,
we sat in the waiting room together.
Finally, we were called back. A
doctor set Wife up on the table, using all of the equipment to examine our
son. We could see our baby on the large
screen in the hospital room. The doctor
did her work quietly. For five minutes,
she didn’t say a word. Finally, she
looked at Wife and whispered, “I’m so sorry.”
And she turned and walked out of the room.
After meeting with more doctors, and doing more checking and
double checking, we were informed that it was definite. The baby boy inside Wife is no longer
living. Within moments of telling us the
news, an administrator came into the room with a couple phone numbers, and a
summary of the various procedures that can be used to remove the baby.
Ultimately, an appointment was made for Monday morning to
begin the process of taking the baby out.
On Saturday morning, Wife woke up and knew she was going
into labor. After speaking to her
doctor, we agreed that Wife would rush to the ER. Meanwhile, I would take the girls to a
friend's apartment and then meet Wife at the ER as soon as soon as I possibly
could. Wife rushed out to get a cab, as I
struggled to get the girls’ shoes and jackets on. Wife called me a few moments after she left our
apartment. “Stop,” she said. “I’m headed back.” Her water broke right outside our apartment
building. She returned to the
apartment, and a few minutes later, at about 8:30 a.m., on Saturday, May 20th, Wife
gave birth to a son. We have been
referring to the baby as Junior, so we gave him my name, but we will refer to
him as Junior. He was just over 6 1/2
inches long. As we held him in our arms,
we could see his eyes, nose, mouth, ears, shoulders, knees, ten toes, ten
fingers and all of his other body parts.
There’s no doubt that he is a boy.
We cleaned him up, and wrapped him in a small towel, and we cradled him
together. We let the girls meet
Junior. The girls asked to hold
him. We let them briefly hold him, see
their brother, and say goodbye.
Shortly after we told the girls the news about Junior’s
death, Elizabeth asked if she could pray.
She prayed, “God, please take really good care of our baby brother. He’s with you now.” We know that this is true. Junior has been given a fast-track journey to
heaven. He’s not going to need to face
the pain, sin and evil that this world has to offer. As King David said after the death of his
infant son, “I will go to him but, he cannot return to me.” Junior is safe in the arms of God.
