Should I Shave my Goatee?

During the last week and a half, I began growing a goatee.  It's been almost ten years since I've had any facial hair, so this is completely new to the girls.  

I asked Katie if I should keep my goatee or shave it off. 

She responded, "Well, it's your decision.  But, just so you know, you look awkward.  And it feels disgusting.  But it's your decision."

A Tinch of Snow!

It's snowing!  

Elizabeth explained that we will be getting a tinch of snow today.

Ummm...Elizabeth, do you mean an "inch" of snow?

No, she repeated, a TINCH of snow.

What is a "tinch of snow"?

Elizabeth explained that this is when we get somewhere in between a teensy bit of snow and an inch of snow.

So, we should be getting about a tinch of snow today.  Maybe more.

Get Dressed

Wife just handed Elizabeth her clothes with instructions to go into the bathroom and get dressed.  

Two minutes later, Elizabeth comes out almost completely naked.  But she turned every article of clothing into a hat that she has on her head.

Elizabeth proudly announced, "I did it!  All of my clothes are on me!  And I'm even fully dressed.  Look, I'm wearing a smile!!!"

Best. Parents. Ever.

Elizabeth was at a friend's house yesterday on a play date.  We'll call the friend Jane.  Elizabeth had the following conversation with Jane's parents:

"Last night, I woke up and I was thinking in bed.  I was thinking about how Jane has the best parents ever.  Then I realized that she doesn't because I have the best Mom and Dad ever.  But after my Mom and Dad, you guys are the best."

A Moment in Elizabeth's Mind

Five year old Elizabeth was working on a craft making a prayer journal at church and she wrote some letters across the top: E V O L.

We had this conversation. 

Me: "Elizabeth, what did you write?

Elizabeth: "E V O L."

Me:  "Ummm....why?"

Elizabeth: "That's 'love' backwards."

Me: "You're right.  It is."

Elizabeth: "Do you know what an upside down L is?"

Me: "What?'

Elizabeth: "The number 7."

Me (thinking): "Yep, you're right."

Elizabeth: "Do you know what an upside down L is backwards?"

Me: "What?"

Elizabeth: "A lower case r."

Me: "Huh."

Elizabeth: "Do you know what an upside down elephant is, dad?"

Me: "No, what?"

Elizabeth: "No one knows, dad.  Elephants are HUGE.  You can't just turn them upside down.  It's a mystery."

Sigh....

Elizabeth: "Daddy, Katie has your phone."

Me: "Yeah, I said she could look at something.  Tell her that her time with my phone is over, and then could you get my phone from her and bring it to me?"

Elizabeth: "Sure."

*** 45 Seconds later ***

Elizabeth: "Dad, I told Katie to give me your phone, and she wouldn't give it to me.  I even tried hitting her and punching her and kicking her and pinching her...she still wouldn't give me your phone."

I'm hoping this will be a really funny memory to share with the girls in a few years.

Our Smart Home

Our family enjoys celebrating Christmas.  A lot.  We take our Christmas decorating very seriously.

For most of the last decade, we've had a freshly chopped Christmas tree delivered from New Hampshire (how else do you make sure your Christmas tree is fresh in Manhattan without renting a car and taking a day trip off the Island?).

This year, I decided to upgrade our incandescent Christmas lights to LED lights because they are so 2001 and get pretty hot.  After a bit of research, I ended up ordering enough commercial-grade LED lights so that our tree can be seen from a few blocks away.

I realized that bending down to plug in and out the Christmas tree, with the plug located all the way behind the tree is annoying.  So, I decided to look into timers so that the lights would go on and off by themselves.

Then I realized that instead of a timer, I should just get a remote control device to turn the lights on and off.

Then I realized that, instead of a simple remote control, I should get a wifi device so we can operate the lights from our phones (regardless of whether we are in the apartment or not).

And then I realized that I may as well get a good portion of the other lights on our home connected to wifi. So, I got enough other smart devices to hook up most of our other lights.

Then I realized that, since we already have one of the original Amazon Echos, a smart home device that is a key member of our family, I should make sure that everything can be controlled through our Amazon Echo.

Then I realized that we may want to control our electronic devices when we aren't near our single, lonely Amazon Echo, so I decided to get another Amazon Echo.

Then I realized that we enjoy streaming music using our Amazon Echo, and linking them together is a great way to have music playing through our home.  But two Amazon Echos don't really fill our whole apartment with music.

So, I got two more Amazon Echos.

And that's the story of why we have four Amazon Echos and all these smart devices in our little apartment and why you'll constantly hear the girls saying things like:

"Alexa, turn on the Christmas tree."

"Alexa, what time is it?"

"Alexa, play Christmas music."

"Alexa, what's the weather outside?"

"Alexa, tell me a joke."

"Alexa, let's play a game."

"Alexa, dim the light by the front door."

 "Alexa, set the timer for ten minutes."

 "Alexa, what's my news flash?"

"Alexa, in what year did New York become a state?"

"Alexa, play music in all the rooms in our home."

"Alexa, how do you spell Westchester?"

"Alexa, how are my favorite sports teams doing?"

***NOT A PAID ADVERTISEMENT***

(We went to Best Buy this morning, and a guy asked someone who works there what the difference is between two Echo devices.  The worker said something like, "Ummm...I dunno."  I jumped in, "I'll take this question."  The guy asking the question suggested I get a job selling the devices.   

Elizabeth's Prayer

This morning, Elizabeth prayed:

"Dear God, thank you that I have the strongest Daddy ever.  And the nicest Mommy ever.  And the best big sister ever.  And thank you that Daddy bought me a little brother.  The end.  I mean, amen."

Elizabeth, what do you mean Daddy bought you a little brother? 

Well, Daddy paid money so we could bring Perry home.  He bought me a little brother!

Fully Dressed

Parent: "Elizabeth, are you ready to go?"

Elizabeth: "No, I'm not fully dressed."

P: "Do you have your shoes on?"

E: "Check."

P: "You have your coat on?"

E: "Yup."

P: "Okay, let's go."

E: "We can't.  I'm not fully dressed."

P: "You look ready to go.  What do you need?"

E: "I'm not fully dressed without a smile.  There.  I put my smile on.  Let's go."
 

Our Princess

A stranger greeted Elizabeth with, "Good morning, princess!" 

Elizabeth responded, "Hi! Just to let you know, I may look like a princess and have manners like a princess, but I’m not a real princess. I’m just a regular kid.”

Is This News to You?

I just overheard the following conversation.

Mom (with exasperation in her voice): "Girls, when you finish coloring, you need to pick up the crayons!  You do not just leave them out!  Is this news to you???"

Elizabeth: "Well, yeah, Mom, it is news.  It's not new news, but it is news."

Katie: I think Mom meant, "Is this 'new' to you, not is this 'news' to you.  That would make a lot more sense.  Mom, did you mean to ask, "Is this NEW to you, and not is this NEWS to you?"

Mom (with even more exasperation in her voice): Just obey me.

Save Your Voice

Today, the girls sang in the children's' choir at church. It was a beautiful, crisp morning, so, as we frequently do, we walked the mile and a half or so to church. 

For the first 20 minutes of our 25 minute walk, Katie held my hand and talked to me nonstop. She bounced from subject to subject without pausing to take a breath. Our rapid-fire conversation included what's going on at school, the choir songs, Christmas movies, her favorite chocolate, Thanksgiving, vacation ideas, book reviews of her recently completed books, birthday ideas for Elizabeth, Christmas ideas, etc.

After 20 minutes of nonstop chatter, Mom interjected, "Katie, maybe you should save your voice for singing in the choir."

Without missing a beat, Katie responded, "Oh, don't worry, Mom.  I have lots of voice.  Lots of voice.  I won't run out."

During the walk, Elizabeth remained mostly quiet.  She was "imaginating" and could not be disturbed.

Excuse Me, Sir

"Excuse me, sir. It would have been nice if you had held the door for us instead of shutting it in our face." - Five year old Elizabeth after running up to a stranger to discuss the incident with the door. The discussion worked because the guy apologized.

Let's Go See the Butts

Katie: "Dad, can we go to the Met? I want to see the butts."

Me: "Excuse me?"

Katie: "The Met has a special exhibit of famous people's butts that I really want to see."

Me: "What do you mean an exhibit of people's butts?"

Katie: "You know, statues of people's butts. Statues of famous people's shoulders, neck and head."

Me: "Katie, those are busts. We call those kind of statues 'busts.'"

Katie: "Oh. That makes more sense."