Envelopes

After a period where the girls seemed to be pushing every boundary possible, I said to the girls in my most exasperated voice, "Girls, stop pushing the envelope!"

Katie responded in her sweetest voice, "But, Daddy, Elizabeth and I don't have an envelope." 

And that's the story of how Katie ended up in a time out.  

It's What Makes Me Special

Over breakfast, Katie was complaining that she had trouble sleeping because of some particularly loud noise outside the previous night.  

Elizabeth immediately responded, "Well, I heard nothing, and I slept great last night thanks to my hearing loss.  It's what makes me special."

The Relationship of Siblings

Katie and I just had this conversation.

Katie: Daddy, Elizabeth is annoying me so badly!

Dad: Yeah, sometimes siblings annoy each other.  That's what siblings do.

Katie: Did your sister annoy you when you were growing up?

Dad: Yes, she sure did.

Katie: Really!  Elizabeth is poking me!  And she won't stop talking!  And if I stop paying attention to her she pokes me!  Did your sister annoy you like that?

Dad: Actually, I think that's more how I annoyed her.

Katie's Musical Preferences

After lunch, we are sitting around the table talking, and with a laugh Elizabeth sang a couple of lines with a thick country twang.  The girls had this conversation:

Katie: Are you trying to sing a country song?

Elizabeth: No, I'm trying to sing terrible. 

Katie: Same thing.

Wife is crushed that Katie doesn't seem to have her appreciation for country music. 

Girls are Amazing

The girls are watching an old episode of America's Funniest Videos (or whatever it's called now).

A video is shown of a pregnant mother revealing to her little boy that he will have a sister.

The boy is crying, "I don't want a sister!  I don't want a sister!"

Elizabeth looked up and said, "Why is he crying?  Girls are AMAZING!"

Happy Independence Day!

This was the second picture... the first picture was just the girls.  Perry was very upset he was not included.  You can see part of him on the picture below as he jumped up in attempt of photo bombing!

Katie and the Subway

Katie is trying to convince us that she's almost 9 years old, so this summer she should be allowed to take the subway by herself.  She's passionate and consistent with her plea.  There is zero chance she wins this issue.  Zero.  I've told her we'll discuss the possibility when she turns 18.

But how in the world did Katie get so old that she can rationally and persistently plead to ride the subway by herself?

There's absolutely no chance.  None.  

BBQ and Stuff Elizabeth Says

As we're eating some BBQ ribs, Elizabeth starts chanting, "Eat eat the bone, Daddy!  Eat the Bone!  Eat the Bone, Daddy!!." 

Why would I want to eat the bone?

Because that way, if you break a bone, you'll have a spare bone all ready to take its place!

TobyMac and Stuff Elizabeth Says

Yesterday morning, we got up at the crack of dawn to see TobyMac and the Diverse City Band performing in Midtown for one of the morning shows yesterday morning.

TobyMac has a bit of a special place in our hearts.  I saw TobyMac and DC Talk perform in 1990 when I was young and not too many people knew who they were.  After DC Talk hit it big, I saw them again in 1998.  Shortly after we met, Wife saw them in 2001 in one of their last concerts as DC Talk.  After we got married, Wife and I went to see TobyMac in Dallas at a mud-covered musical festival in 2007 that is definitely one of the greatest, funniest memories of our marriage. Back in 2015, we took the girls to see TobyMac and Diverse City in Times Square.  So, when we heard that TobyMac and his band would be here yesterday, we decided we had to get up to go see him.  I'm glad we did because it is another family memory that I know we'll treasure. 

As TobyMac and the band were on stage chatting with the audience in between commercial breaks some guy in the packed crowd started screaming something to the musicians on stage.  Despite the guy screaming at the top of his lungs, I don't think TobyMac heard him. But Elizabeth's ears were only a few feet from the guy. Elizabeth, without missing a beat, immediately turned to the screaming guy and yelled back at him, "Dude, seriously???  Be quiet!!!"

A women next to us spoke up, "I'm glad she said it because I was about to!"

I'm glad it was a crowd there for a Christian concert.  They are much more understanding as we try to teach Elizabeth that sometimes people are loud at outdoor concerts. 

I Am Not Prepared for This

As we are walking around a store on Memorial Day weekend, I had this conversation with Katie.

Katie: Hey, let's go look at bras.

Me: You want to go look for a new bra for mom?

Katie: Ummm....no...I want to go look for a new bra for me.

I am so not ready for this.

Doing Things Wrong

Both girls just wrote a speech along with special songs they wanted us to hear, and the girls asked us to sit and listen to them deliver their speeches and sing their songs.  

Elizabeth's speech started with:

"Daddy and Mommy, thank you for taking care of me.  And loving me.  And buying things for me.  And thank you that the only time you are ever mean is when I do something wrong ... ummm....on accident.  But sometimes, ummm, the truth is that sometimes I do things wrong on purpose.  Anyway, I love you mommy and daddy."  

Elizabeth's Palm Sunday Question

Today is Palm Sunday.  As we do nearly every Sunday, we went to church.  Katie spends about half the the service with us before leaving with the other grade school children for their class.  Elizabeth spends the service in her kindergarten Sunday school class.

In her Sunday school class this morning, Elizabeth, of course, learned about what happened on Palm Sunday nearly two thousand years ago.  The kindergarten teacher explained to the class that, on Palm Sunday, people put their coats onto the road, and then Jesus rode a donkey down the street.  The donkey walked on the coats as the crowd cheered, "Hosanna!  Hosanna!"

Elizabeth raised her hand.  "Excuse me.  I have a question.  So, people put their coats on the road and then Jesus rode on a donkey.  And the donkey walked the coats, right?  Well, what if the donkey had diarrhea?  Animals do that sometimes."
 
It was an honest question that was really bothering Elizabeth.  But I sympathize with Elizabeth's Sunday school teacher.   

 

I Want to Survive

As was in the kitchen, I just overheard the girls having the following conversation in the living room.

Elizabeth: "Katie, can I have some of your water?"

Katie: "No."

***gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp****

Katie: "I said, NO, you could not have any of my water!!!"

Elizabeth (while shrugging): "Well, I want to survive."

Katie: "Huh???"

Elizabeth: "Water is necessary to live.  And I want to survive."

Making Change

For her birthday, I gave Elizabeth an educational game that teaches kids to make change. 

You want to buy an apple.  That's 5 cents.  Easy enough.

You want to buy an orange.  That's 10 cents.  Easy peasy. 

You want to buy a hat.  That's 37 cents. 

Elizabeth thinks for a moment, and then suggests, "I know.  There's an easier way to do this.  I'll give you a dollar, and then you give me change."

Sent Back to School

Elizabeth was explaining to me what she is learning in kindergarten.  She has learned a hand motion for every sound/letter, so she sounds out words and puts a hand motion with each sound that is made.  Apparently, it will help with spelling/reading.

She asked me to do the motions for a word, and I explained to her that I didn't know how.

"WHAT???  What did you learn in kindergarten????  You need to go back to school and repeat kindergarten!!!"

Wow...I'll be in real trouble as they move up in school.  

A New Ballet

The girls have been working hard on a new project this morning.  There has been a lot of whispering and a lot of teamwork.  They just announced the project to us:

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have a ballet for your enjoyment!  It's our rendition of the Nutcracker.  It has an introduction, followed by three acts.  Each act is one hour, with a 5-10 minute intermission between each act.  We have front row seats for you right here. Please, sit here.  Put your phones down; phones are not permitted in the auditorium. *Alexa, play the Nutcracker by Tchaikovsk.*"

I guess I know what I'm doing on this holiday afternoon.