Focusating

Five year old Elizabeth has been doing a lot of deep thinking lately.  But she doesn’t describe it quite like most of us do – she coins new terms.  Recently, we were out walking and she was quiet for quite a while.  We asked her what she was doing, and she explained that she was “focusating.”

Of course, that led to the question of what in the world is “focusating”?  Elizabeth explained that focusating is a combination of focusing and concentrating.  It’s a very deep activity, when you are both focusing and concentrating really, really hard. 

We asked Elizabeth what she was focusating about, and she revealed that she was focusating on the fact that since she’s not getting a baby brother, perhaps we should be getting a puppy instead.  However, she expounded, since she’s concerned that Mommy may be allergic to dogs, she was focusating on the fact that she really wants a puppy but she doesn’t want Mommy to die.

This afternoon, we were out walking, and Elizabeth was doing something new.  She was “imaginating.”  What’s “imaginating”?  Well, obviously it’s when you imagine and concentrate really, really hard at the same time.  What was she “imaginating”?  What it would be like if she had a puppy.

What does Katie have to say about this?  “My sister is ridiculous.” 

Stuff Elizabeth Says

Even during tough times, Elizabeth always has a way to put a smile on our faces.  Here's a couple of the things she's said today:

This evening, Elizabeth and Wife had this conversation:

Elizabeth: "Mommy, am I beautiful?"

Wife: "Yes, Elizabeth.  Why?"

Elizabeth: "Because I don't know I'm beautiful!" (sung to the tune of the One Direction song, "What Makes You Beautiful").

For the last two weeks, the girls have had issues sleeping, particularly Elizabeth.  During this time, I've been staying with Elizabeth and putting my arm around her until she falls asleep.  Before I got home from work tonight, she explained to Wife, "Mommy, Daddy is a superhero.  He makes my bad dreams go away.  It's his superpower."

Junior

As many of you know, we have been expecting our third child.  A son.  Wife is almost 20 weeks pregnant, and the girls can’t be more excited.  For the last three months, it feels as if everything in our lives has revolved around Baby Brother.  The girls don’t stop talking to Baby Brother in Wife’s tummy. Every night Elizabeth has to give him a kiss goodnight.  Every morning, she gives him a kiss good morning.  Every day the debate on what his name should be continues.  

On Thursday morning, I was at work, dealing with a typical smattering of client emergencies.  It was a typical day at work, as a rotated between conference calls and responding to emails.  The girls were at school.  Wife was texting me from the waiting room of her OBGYN as she waited to go back for her monthly appointment to check on our almost 20 week old son.  Though Wife has had very serious morning sickness during this pregnancy, just as she had with both Katie and Elizabeth, everything seemed to be going great with this pregnancy.  After every test and every appointment, we were always told the same thing, everything looks perfect.

As sat at my desk, typing an email, my phone rang.  It was Wife.  I knew why she was calling.  She always called after every appointment to tell me everything the doctor said, and to assure me that everything continues to look perfect. 

I answered my phone, expecting to hear my chipper Wife, excited to tell me the latest good news.  But this call was different.  She was crying.  “The doctors can’t find a heartbeat,” she said.  “I’m on my way to the hospital.”  Within seconds, I was running out of my office to meet Wife at the hospital.

After filling out a mountain of paperwork at the hospital, we sat in the waiting room together.   

Finally, we were called back.  A doctor set Wife up on the table, using all of the equipment to examine our son.  We could see our baby on the large screen in the hospital room.  The doctor did her work quietly.  For five minutes, she didn’t say a word.  Finally, she looked at Wife and whispered, “I’m so sorry.”  And she turned and walked out of the room.

After meeting with more doctors, and doing more checking and double checking, we were informed that it was definite.  The baby boy inside Wife is no longer living.  Within moments of telling us the news, an administrator came into the room with a couple phone numbers, and a summary of the various procedures that can be used to remove the baby. 

Ultimately, an appointment was made for Monday morning to begin the process of taking the baby out.

On Saturday morning, Wife woke up and knew she was going into labor.  After speaking to her doctor, we agreed that Wife would rush to the ER.  Meanwhile, I would take the girls to a friend's apartment and then meet Wife at the ER as soon as soon as I possibly could.  Wife rushed out to get a cab, as I struggled to get the girls’ shoes and jackets on.  Wife called me a few moments after she left our apartment.  “Stop,” she said.  “I’m headed back.”  Her water broke right outside our apartment building.   She returned to the apartment, and a few minutes later, at about 8:30 a.m., on Saturday, May 20th, Wife gave birth to a son.  We have been referring to the baby as Junior, so we gave him my name, but we will refer to him as Junior.  He was just over 6 1/2 inches long.  As we held him in our arms, we could see his eyes, nose, mouth, ears, shoulders, knees, ten toes, ten fingers and all of his other body parts.  There’s no doubt that he is a boy.  We cleaned him up, and wrapped him in a small towel, and we cradled him together.  We let the girls meet Junior.  The girls asked to hold him.  We let them briefly hold him, see their brother, and say goodbye.  

Shortly after we told the girls the news about Junior’s death, Elizabeth asked if she could pray.  She prayed, “God, please take really good care of our baby brother.  He’s with you now.”  We know that this is true.  Junior has been given a fast-track journey to heaven.  He’s not going to need to face the pain, sin and evil that this world has to offer.  As King David said after the death of his infant son, “I will go to him but, he cannot return to me.”  Junior is safe in the arms of God. 

Happy Mother's Day!

To all the many mothers in our lives, Happy Mother's Day!   We hope you have a fabulous day.

Be Careful When You Hug

Quite a while ago, back when Elizabeth was 3 1/2 years old, we were waiting for a flight at an airport terminal.  Elizabeth recognized my jeans and sweater, and gave my leg a big hug.  The only problem was that though the jeans and sweater were similar, Elizabeth gave the big hug to a stranger.  The guy seemed reasonably nice, so it was no big deal, but Elizabeth was stunned and mortified.  She went into full-on panic mode, and was inconsolable for several minutes.

Out of the blue this morning, Elizabeth brought it up.

"Remember a long time ago when we were at the airport, and I hugged a stranger because I thought it was you?  I was really scared and I cried a lot."

"Yes, I remember."

"Do you know why I cried so much?"

"Because you thought the man was me?"

"No!  I cried because I thought that then I was going to need to fall in love with him, and I didn't want to fall in love with him!"

How to Manipulate Mommy into Making Cookies

Quote from Katie:

"You know, store bought cookies are good, but Mommy's cookies are SO much better than anything we could buy at the store."

Looks like we'll get some homemade cookies to eat when we watch the Super Bowl.

How to Get Out of Trouble

Mommy began to sternly lecture the girls about picking up after themselves.

Elizabeth raised her hand and sweetly interjected, "Excuse me, Mommy.  You're beautiful."

The Grizzly Trees

Recently, Elizabeth has been talking about "grizzly trees."

What's a grizzly tree, we asked?  Elizabeth patiently explained that a grizzly tree is a tree that doesn't have any leaves on it.  Okay...we've never heard it called that before, so we're kind of curious about the origin of the term.

We just realized that Elizabeth is talking about "bare trees."  Trees that are bare because the leaves have fallen off.

"Yeah," Elizabeth explained, "That's what I said.  Grizzly trees.  Grizzly bear trees."

Stuff Elizabeth Says

We finished our holiday break by trekking down to Chinatown, located between Greenwich Village and the Financial District in Manhattan.  Katie has been BEGGING to go to Chinatown for weeks because she loves the food.  Visiting Chinatown is a little bit like visiting another world - almost all of the people are Asian and very little signage is in English.

After we finished our dim sum, and went shopping to get some food to bring home, we began our journey back home.  Elizabeth asked, "When will be back in New York?"

"We are in New York."

"No, when will be back in New York City?"

"Elizabeth, Chinatown is in New York City.  We're just a couple miles from home."

"What?  That's ridiculous.  Does 'Chinatown' just mean 'Pretend China'"?

Stuff Katie Says

Tonight, we were watching a New Year's eve special on a news network about all the people that died in 2016.  Katie watched the program intently.  When it was over, Katie turned to me and said, "There are a lot of people in the world.  If that's ALL the people that died, that's pretty good."

Christmas Eve Church Service Adventures

I can't believe that Wife and I just celebrated our 10th Christmas in New York City.  Ten years ago, we were newlyweds, living in a studio in Greenwich Village, enjoying our "brief excursion" in Manhattan while I finished my formal education at NYU.  On Christmas Eve of 2007, we wanted to attend a Christmas Eve church service, but our church wasn't having one.  Wife and I searched for a church in the City that had a Christmas Eve service, which was surprisingly difficult, but we finally found one that we wanted to attend.  Attending that church's Christmas Eve service, and following the service with a walk down Fifth Avenue to see the Rockefeller Christmas tree, has become an annual tradition that we have followed for the last 10 years.

The service is very well-done, with probably in excess of 500 church-goers attending the service.  It is a family event, with parents encouraged to have their children sit with them.  Announcements are always made reminding us that this is a family service, and that loud children are a welcome aspect of the service's tradition.  The service always includes singing Christmas carols, reading the Christmas story and a message from the pastor.  Everyone is given a candle, and the service always ends with the lights in the building shutting off, the candles being lit, and the congregation singing Silent Night together.

This year, the pastor decided to do something that they haven't done in several years (at least since we have had children that were not infants) - the associate pastor who gave the message this year invited all the children to come on stage and listen while he gave the sermon. The associate pastor seems like a fine gentleman, but public speaking is not his primary responsibility and he looked a bit nervous and stiff.  Enter our little girls on stage with him.

Well, let's just say that we had one child who sat like a perfect angel and listened attentively through the the whole message.  I'll call this child, Child A.  The other child...well...while she wasn't "bad" per se, she may cause the pastor to rethinking inviting children onto the stage with him.  I'll call this child, Child B.

Child B doesn't have a shy bone in her body.  She will say anything to anyone at any time.  Usually, it's appreciated ("Hey, lady, I like your dress.  It's so beautiful" or "Sir, your dog looks very nice.  Can I pet him?" or "Thank you Mr. Police Officer for keeping us safe").  Other times it causes us some consternation ("Hey, man, you have a lot of wrinkles.  Are you a grandpa?" or "Hey, Dad, something smells really bad on the elevator.  I think it's that man right there").

Child B demonstrated her outgoing nature on the stage on Christmas Eve.   Child B is pretty good at following instructions.  If the pastor had given instructions, such as "Everyone sit down, and put your hands on your lap and don't talk while I use you as my props," I'm pretty sure Child B would have happily complied.  But no such instructions were given.  The pastor just started talking...to the children...and at least one of those children interpreted this as an opportunity for an interactive discussion.

As soon as the children came up, the pastor started talking, and, unfortunately, his talk involved quite a lot of rhetorical questions, which Child B insisted on answering.  If you know Child B, you know that she refuses to be ignored.  She'll start with her hand in the air.  Then she'll jump up and down with her hand in the air.  Then she'll just say what's on her mind.  Then she'll say it louder.  And louder.  And louder.  This will continue until she is acknowledged.  A couple of times she had to get right up to the pastor's face before he was willing to acknowledge her.

Some questions were not rhetorical and really were directed at the children.  For example, the pastor held up a manger from a nativity scene and asked the children what it was.  Child B jumped to her feet and announced, "Baby Jesus' bed!"  The pastor said that wasn't correct, which infuriated Child B.  He was looking for the answer "a feeding trough for animals."  No, Child B insisted.  They are both right.  So, she loudly told the Christmas story of Jesus being born and put in a manger BECAUSE IT WAS HIS BED.  "Jesus was born and they put him in a manger to sleep, so it WAS SO his BED, pastor man."

The pastor told the children how wise men came from the East, and he asked them, "Does anyone know which direction is east?'  Child B raised her hand and jumped to her feet again (I'll be honest, she was on her feet more than she was sitting).  The pastor called on her and asked her which direction is east.  Child B, without missing a beat, immediately turned to the audience and yelled, "Hey, Mom, Dad...which way is east???"  The crowd roared.

Throughout the message, Wife and I desperately motioned for Child B to sit down and be quiet.   When Child B could make us out in the large crowd with the bright stage lights in her eyes, she gave us a huge smile and a big thumbs up.  This caused the entire congregation to roar with laughter, some to the point of tears.  And Wife and I to slink lower in the pew. 

And all the while, Child A sat quietly and motionless, listening intently - with a few notable exceptions of when Child A pleaded with Child B to just sit down next to her and be quiet.

So, it's been a good run attending Christmas Eve services at this church for the last 10 years.  We'll see if we can show our face there next year.  Or if they will let us in the doors.

Katie's Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,  

For Christmas, I want a cat or a dog please.  If you are real, you got to prove it.

Thank you, 

Katie [Last Name] in New York.   

P.S.  Tell Mrs. Claus hi for me.

Things Elizabeth Says

"I love you, Mommy.  I hope you never get dead."

Things Elizabeth Says

Years ago, the girls received a stuffed animal of the "Grinch," which has always terrified Elizabeth. Elizabeth calls it "the green guy." Recently, she announced:

"I am not scared of the green guy anymore.  I just say 'I got my eye on you, Green Guy' and that makes him scared of me instead."

Things Elizabeth Says

"Come on man! We are trying to go to church.  Can't you go faster bus?"

Elizabeth's Introduction to Star Wars

This weekend, I (Husband) was resting in the bedroom, and Star Wars (the 1977 film) came on t.v.  Elizabeth came into the bedroom, and was very excited to see some of the movie that she has heard referenced so many times by her friends. Elizabeth absolutely LOVES superheroes.  We watched a few minutes together, and I tried to explain the story to her.  This led to two results:

First, it dawned on me how the entire premise and story of Star Wars is absolutely, utterly ridiculous. 

Second, once Elizabeth repeated the story of Star Wars to her mother, the entire Star Wars series is now banned from our home.

Beginning the Season at Macy's!

Getting the family into the holiday spirit by checking out Macy's Thanksgiving and Christmas displays. According to Macy's Christmas spirit-o-meter, Katie is nice, Wife is merry, Elizabeth is jolly, and Husband is ho-hum.

Believe?

Apparently, it's Christmas time in the city. Our first visit to Holiday Lane at Macy's in Herald Square in 2016, and the girls wrote letters to Santa. Katie's letter said, "Santa if you're real you've got to prove it."

Trademark Expo

On our way to the Smithsonian we were stopped by some people handing out fliers.  The New Yorker in me kept on walking but thankfully Husband listened to what they had to say.  Across the street they were having a trademark expo and there were supposed to be some great activities and information.  We decided to make a quick stop and the girls were so glad they did.  They received so many free goodies.  Thankfully their manners were in full force that day and I think because they were so thankful and appreciative when someone gave them something, they usually ended up getting extra.  Here were are posing with the Idaho Spud!

Jefferson and Washington Monument

Lincoln Memorial

Cousins are the best!

This is so Elizabeth!  A princess dress with some army gear on the side! 

My cousin.  We hadn't been together since we were kids!

My Aunt - (My mom's sister). 

Tree climbing in the suburbs

We aren't in the city anymore, kids!  Katie explained to all of us that we live in the city, which is an urban community.  They live in the suburbs.  However, given all the trees and nature, Katie began to wonder if the suburbs are more rural.  Elizabeth just wanted to play in dirt!

Washington, DC

Husband had a symposium with some high ranking official from the IRS, Treasury Dept. and DOL to discuss various policy issues and some upcoming legal changes in Washington DC.   The girls and I decided to join him for a couple days and take in the sites as well as see some family.  Katie really appreciated the sites since she is starting to learn about history and presidents, etc.   Elizabeth didn't understand why she could just go into the White House and say hi to Obama.   We all loved visiting with my aunt, cousin and her two children.  The girls haven't stopped talking about their cousins since. Katie is really beginning to get into History.  I have say that it makes this history nerd quite happy!

View from our hotel room

Teaching the girls about Civic Duty

We performed our civic duty and voted.  No, the girls didn't vote, but the election worker pitied them for standing in line for an hour and gave them stickers.  To quote Elizabeth "Mommy, that line was longer than Disneyland!"  We had to teach them the importance of voting.  In fact, they have accompanied us in voting for every election since birth.  I remember the first time I wore Katie because she was just a baby.  If I recall correctly, she decided it was time to eat right about the time I was trying to fill in the ballot.  Good times!

Family Photos

All that sun and play made everyone hungry!