Yeah, I'm Studying for the Bar

Much to my annoyance, Law School has invited the masses to study in our library for the July Bar Exam. Like most law schools, my school expects patrons to act responsibly in the library, maintaining common courtesies such as keeping quiet, refraining from talking on cell phones, and not bringing food into the library. Unfortunately, these intruders have no respect for either our library or those of us trying to study for the Bar.

Recently, an obnoxious jerk had a long cell phone conversation as he munched on his bag of Doritos while sitting at the table next to me. The essence of the conversation was that he was trying to pick up a woman with the bait that he is a great catch because he studies for the Bar Exam at Law School library, despite the fact that he actually graduated from the worst law school in the state. As I ground my teeth waiting for this fellow to get off his phone, I did what any reasonable person studying for the Bar Exam would do: I began to think up a hypothetical Bar Exam question.

For your contemplation, here’s the sample question:

Dwight, a Newark, New Jersey, domiciliary, sat in the at the law school in Manhattan studying when Johnny, who was sitting next to him, decided to spend his afternoon watching YouTube videos on his computer with the volume turned up at full blast while talking on his cell phone. Enraged, Dwight grabbed Johnny’s cell phone and threw it at Johnny’s head as he yelled, “Take this you meanie-head, I hope this causes you lots of pain, but certainly no permanent bodily injury.” In his furry, Dwight completely missed Johnny, and the cell phone flew across the room, striking Nick on the back of the head. Surprised, Nick flew out of his seat with the exclamation, “Golly, what was that? Is the sky falling?” However, at that moment, Lucy was walking back to her seat after making a coffee run at SunDollars. Food and drink are not allowed in the library, but when Lucy entered the library, the librarian noticed the cup in her hand but decided to ignore the infraction. When Nick jumped out of his seat, he accidentally bumped Lucy, who then stumbled backwards and spilled her coffee on a desk where Paula was typing on her laptop computer. The only reason that Lucy made the coffee run was because Paula offered to buy Lucy an ice latte if Lucy would bring her a quadruple iced espresso with nine sugars. To pay for the drinks, Paula gave Lucy a forged check for $45 that she stole from her mother's checkbook, which her mother kept hidden in her sock drawer. Though Paula forged her mother's signature well, she wrote in the subject line of the check, "You dopes. I stole this check and it is a forgery. Suckers." Lucy endorsed the check with a crayon and gave it to her friend Jim as a gift. Jim used the check to buy a stolen television from Kirk. Kirk cashed the check at "Quick and Easy Cash Checking Company." Lucy forgot Paula's order and brought her hot black coffee instead. The hot black coffee spilled on Paula’s arm, causing minor, but painful burns and also staining her lucky sweater that she had worn to every test since the second grade. Instead moving her coffee or cleaning up the coffee, Paula lept up and began to yell at Lucy, “You putz! Why don’t you watch where you are going? My arm hurts and my sweater is ruined. I can never pass the bar exam without my lucky sweater.” The coffee spread across the table, onto the computer cord, and black smoke began to immediately billow from the machine. Without hesitation, Nick grabbed the computer’s power with the intention of unplugging it, but the moment he touched the cord, he felt a strong electronic shock run through his body, causing him to fall to the floor in an epileptic seizure. As his convulsions subsided, Nick cried out, “I know this is the end for me. Tell my girlfriend, Jill, I love her. I want her to have all my earthly possessions when I die. I don’t care about June, my wife, anymore or that stupid will that we both signed yesterday our attorney’s office which left all of my stuff to her. And I can’t go to my grave with my deep dark secret: I saw Dwight steal a treatise on Constitutional law from the bookstore last week. After he got away with it, I stole a securities regulation treatise, but I felt guilty so I brought it back the next day.” At that very moment, Officer Joe was walking through the library in time to see the smoke and hear the confession. Officer Joe was only a university security guard and was not authorized to carry weapons of any kind. Officer Joe, believing this was his big chance to show what he was made of, announced, “Dwight, Nick, you’re under arrest. Do you have anything to say for yourselves?” Dwight said, “Yeah, I did it. Arrest me.” Nick, while still floundering on the ground, retorted, “You’ll never take me alive.” Officer Joe pulled out an illegal taser gun and shocked Nick the legs. Nick suddenly died. The official autopsy report concludes that Nick had a rare allergy to electricity. The electric shock he was received would definitely have killed him within twenty minutes, but the shock by Officer Joe accelerated his death. Immediately, the Dean of the school arrived and said, “This is terrible, but we are responsible for nothing. Look, there is a sign by the door saying that our school bears no responsibility for anything that occurs in the library whether by negligence, malice, or even intentional actions.” Despite her best efforts, Paula can no longer concentrate without her lucky sweater, so she failed the Bar exam. She had an offer of employment from Law Firm, which Partner orally promised would not be revoked, even if she failed the Bar; however Paula received the lowest grade in the state on the exam, so Law Firm did revoke her offer telling her, “You must be the stupidest person this side of the Mississippi.” Since Paula had no job, she stayed home all day and blasted Techno music all day in her apartment, which is located in Long Island City. Without warning or notice, her landlord evicted her because of the noise. Her landlord points to the following clause in the lease: “Landlord is all wise and may do whatever he wants without any complaints from any tenant, nor any legal liability whatsoever. He may simply never, ever, ever be sued.” Paula admits she signed the lease, but claims she never read it. Paula’s father is so enraged to learn that his daughter never read the lease that he tells her, “I oughta slap you silly.”

Part 1: What criminal charges could the city prosecutor bring against Dwight, Johnny, Paula, Nick, Jill, Jim, Kirk, Lucy, Officer Joe, Paula's father, or the law school? What defenses could each assert?

Part 2: What civil suits can Nick’s estate, heirs, or devisees bring? Could anyone get rich because Nick felt lots of pain and suffering before he died? What federal and state taxes are owed for a recover for pain and suffering?

Part 3: Discuss any causes of action that Paula could bring in tort based upon these facts. What defenses may be raised. What remedies, in law or equity, might a court order?

Part 4: What civil or criminal liability does law school librarian potentially face? What if the librarian was drinking coffee himself when Lucy brought the drinks into the library?

Part 5: If Paula sued her former landlord for wrongful eviction, what result? What is the normal notice requirement required before eviction? What if the apartment building only had two units? What if it had twenty units? What if the landlord is certifiably insane?

Part 6: May Paula sue to force Law Firm to let her start work despite failing the Bar? What if the Law Firm only has seven other lawyers and all of them are men who passed the bar on the first time? What if all the lawyers at the firm were arrogant and annoying and Paula really didn't want to work there anyway?

Part 7: Assuming that Dwight is charged with a crime, are the incriminating statements made by either Dwight or Nick admissible in a criminal trial against him? Would the statements be admissible in a civil trial against them? Explain the rule of hearsay and all 38 exceptions.

Part 8: Assuming June attempts to enter Nick’s will into probate. Jill contacts you and wants your professional opinion on her claim that she should inherit from Nick. What do you tell her? What if Nick and June had three children together?

Part 9: Is the law school dean correct in his assertion that law school bears no liability for anything that occurs in the library because of the sign? If the sign did not exist, what would the law school be liable for?

Part 10: Assume SunDollars served coffee that was three degrees hotter than industry standards. What is their potential liability on these facts? What if Lucy explicitly asked for the coffee to be three degrees hotter than industry standards?

Part 11: What state courts have personal jurisdiction, subject matter jurisdiction, and venue over the potential causes of action? Same question regarding federal courts. Make sure you include correct citations, pinpointing all statutory sources down to the correct sub-paragraph.

Part 12: May Child Protective Services removed Paula’s eleven year old brother from her father’s home because of his actions? What if Paula's father was paraplegic and was unable to his his hands or feet?

Part 13: If Paula's mother's bank pays the check, but Paula's mother catches the forgery and reports it to the bank three months later, what result? Who will be ultimately liable for the $45? Was this a negotiable instrument? If so, who was a holder in Due Course? What warranties are applicable? What if Paula added smiley faces to the front of the check in pink crayon?

Part 14: Discuss an other legal issue or remedy that was raised by the facts that you have not yet thoughtfully discussed.