Saturday, September 5, 2009

The Exploding Baby

On today's lazy Saturday afternoon, Katie and Wife simultaneously wake up from their naps. Wife needs to go to the bathroom. Katie already has done the deed, and she needs her diaper changed. No big deal. I can handle that.

Katie made a real doozie in her diaper. Lots of both number one and number two to clean up. But, I'm good at changing diapers. I'm a pro at this by now. I am, however, a bit confused at how a seven pound baby makes a four pound diaper.

I've cleaned Katie all up. The new diaper is under her, and I'm about to fasten it up. Suddenly she starts to leak. I've heard about little boys spraying, but my daughters starts shooting a stream of pee a foot into the air. I quickly grab a little disposable wipe to try to prevent a huge mess. Before I know what hit me, she starts to poop. A lot. I tried to keep everything covered so that we get as little of a mess as possible, but I clearly failed. Her changing mat is covered with the mess. The floor is covered with the mess. The rug is covered with the mess. The projectile even reached the bed halfway across the room. Of course, my shirt is covered in the mess, as are my pants and feet.

Wife returned from her short trip to the bathroom (this all occurred in a minute) and immediately began to laugh. She started to laugh so hard that she couldn't stop crying. Yes, she was even doing her chin thing (you have to know her to get that).

I'm not a stupid man. I learned an important lesson here. Next time, it's Wife's turn to change the diaper.

At least she's cute.

2 comments:

Lindak said...

You're not alone. At least you grabbed something. When Leah did her projectile poop thing, I tried to catch it in my HAND. :)

Sam said...

oh no, not the chin thing!! It must have been hysterical.