Subway Serenade

Today, I had the wonderful pleasure of riding the subway Uptown for a job interview (normally, I try to walk, but I wasn’t about to walk 120 blocks. What amazes me about the ride is that it can take an hour just to go 6 miles. Back where we are from, living 6 miles away from work was incredibly close—ah, those were the days of automobiles).

On my way home, I was in a rather empty car for once (around 10 people were in the car with me) and one creepy gentleman decided that he would attempt to entertain us in exchange for our money. I must admit that this gentleman was a tad intimidating. He was decked out like a pirate, ready to take over the subway—complete with eye patch and all (I’m serious about that). Well, suddenly this man turned to us and started talking loudly. He announced (imagine this being spoken loudly, but very slowly with a slight stutter), “Ladies and gentleman. I hate to bother you hard working people, but I am in need of some money. The only thing I can rely on to provide me that money is my accomplished voice. I am going to sing you a little song.” Next thing I knew the guy was singing “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg.” While I contemplated for a brief second standing up and joining him in this melody (hey, I am unemployed and could use some extra cash as well!), it was a little painful to listen to him butcher the song. In fact, the lady across from me proceeded to cover he ears with her hands. (I wished I had my mp3 player with me. It seems to be the trend in NY for everyone to have mp3 players to cover up all the noise from the streets—I still haven’t decided if it safe to walk around with one in a city filled with muggers). So I proceeded to tune out the troubadour and read a stack of papers I brought with me.

After a moment, I looked up to discover this guy standing directly in front of me, inches away from my face, singing and holding his hat under my nose. It is one thing to ask strangers for money, but you do not get that close to a stranger for any reason whatsoever. As sternly as possible I told the gentleman, “Get away from me.” The lady next to me seemed quite flustered by this spectacle and she was rather grateful I told him to back off. The man decided that our car wasn’t providing him with enough income, so he proceeded on to the next car where I am sure he entertained everyone there. Or maybe the next car felt the same way about him that we did.