You Might Be A Tourist If...

So apparently I look like I know something about the city of New York. I have been a New Yorker for two whole weeks now. My new geography must show because it appears that the tourists think I am a real New Yorker! It seems like every time I go out on the street, whether it is heading Uptown for a job interview or just around the corner to the neighborhood deli, a tourist stops me to ask for directions. Unfortunately, I am not usually much help, since I still get confused as what is Uptown and what is Downtown in this huge city.

I wonder what makes these tourists think that I actually know directions to obscure locations. Is it that I wear tennis shoes with my business suits (don’t laugh—you try walking forty blocks to a job interview in heels. Don’t worry, I put the uncomfortable heels on in time for the interviews). Maybe it is the fact that I walk fast with a purpose and rarely look up at the skyscrapers. Perhaps what makes me look like a New Yorker is that I watch the cars and not the lights when preparing to cross the street. As Husband wrote about last Saturday, just because the pedestrian has a green light doesn’t mean that the taxis will actually stop. Words of advice if you visit NYC, watch the traffic, not the light. No one ever got run over by a traffic light, but the cars will kill you.

Now that I am a seasoned citizen of the city, I decided to put together a little list of how to spot a New Yorker verses a tourist based upon my observations of the Big Apple. Jeff Foxworthy has made a career of his “You might be a redneck…” lines, told with his slow Southern drawl. Picture me telling these lines with a thick New York accent.

1. You might be a tourist in NYC if you pronounce Houston Street like the city of Houston, Texas. The correct way to pronounce Houston Street is "how – ston." Yes, it is spelled like the city, but pronounced like the street.

2. You might be a tourist in NYC if you refer to 6^th avenue as the "Avenue of the Americas" or, worse, 7th avenue the "Fashion Avenue".

3. You might be a tourist in NYC if you wear an “I heart NY” t-shirt. Better yet, if you wear any NY paraphernalia.

4. You might be a tourist in NYC if you wear a camera around your neck and stop constantly to take pictures of everyday objects, such as my apartment building.

5. You might be a tourist if you carry a NYC Guide/map. (I will probably always carry a subway map in my purse. I am just too fearful of getting lost).

6. You might be a tourist in NYC if you stop in the middle of the sidewalk and look up.

7. You might be a tourist in NYC if you refer to directions as North or South. In NY it is uptown and downtown.

8. You might be a tourist in NYC if you and your friends/family walk 5 by 5 on the sidewalk. (Please. Never walk more than 2 by 2.)

9. You might be a tourist in NYC if you stop at a crosswalk and wait for a green light when there are no cars coming.

10. You might be a tourist in NYC, if you smile for longer than 10 seconds.